#if its anything to you; my younger brother is colorblind

[coyoteworks]

i like your dungeon meshi meme image edit from 4 days ago! im wondering something purely out of curiosity if thats ok- did you eyeball the bi flag part yourself? & if so, and i hope this isnt rude, but would you consider yourself colorblind? no pressure to answer lol i enjoyed the post and hope you have a nice day

Hey thanks! Yeah nah i didnt eyeball it, the image just kinda came like that (that is, the first duckduckgo result for someone you know is an italian was the base i used for the image, and i didnt fix the odd-lookin bi flag because it was just going to be a joke with a few pals on discord). I hope ive sated your curiosity though!

[sleepdeprivedsimp234]

Really long headcanon post for the stuff that I’ve posted on Wattpad :3

Massachusetts:

-Mans is my height, 5'6, and he hates being bullied about being the shortest of his brothers lmao

-Is twins with New Jersey, though Jersey makes fun of him cuz he's five minutes younger

-he has reddish brown shoulder-length wavy hair and hazel eyes

-mf is built like the Dwayne Johnson though he's just missing the height

-TRANSMASC MASS SUPREMACY 🛐🛐

-this man acts all tough until the cramps come along. Then he's dead.

-doctor of the statehouse, along with Texas. He deals with sickness/illness whilst Texas deals with injuries. Though he can do both cuz we love that.

-tried learning how to make flower crowns cuz NY would always make them for everyone when they were younger. He tried his best, and he's actually kinda okay at it, so him and any will just hang out and make flower crowns.

-^he has put a spell on every single flower crown that he's ever given or received so that they never shrivel up and die

-OCD, autism, and ADHD

-loves rock, metal, and punk music. Especially FFDP (THEY HAVE NO BUSINESS BEING THAT FRICKIN' GOOD LIKE WHAT-)

-friends with the OG13 (no dip Sherlock-), Maine, Texas, and Louisiana.

-REFUSES TO ADMIT HE HAS A SOFT SPOT FOR NEW YORK. EVEN IF HE'S ACTIVELY HUGGING HIM. HE WILL DENY IT TILL THE DAY HE DIES. HE WILL DO ANYTHING FOR THIS DAMN KID.

-^the moment he met New York, he was filled with the urge to take him away from England immediately. He does pick favorite brothers btw. And it's New York.

-sharp lil canines like he's a friggin vampire smh

Sippi:

-he is a squishy boy and we love that <3 it just makes him better for cuddling

-he's not short, not tall, he's only 5'8.

-he's a pathetic loser tbh but we still love him

-sippi loves stuffed animals, but his favorite is a teddy bear that was given to him by New York (fun fact, teddy bears were invented in Brooklyn, and were named after the president that refused to shoot a bear!).

-he named it Mr. Cuddles, and it is the most beat up stuffed animal that he owns (as in, its ear had to be sewn back on, one of its eyes has been replaced by a button, and it has random stitches and patches all over) but he still loves it and cherishes it to this day.

-friends with (omg he has friends????) Texas, Louisiana, Florida, New York, South Carolina and Georgia

-yes yes he is but a cuddly marshmallow. Until you hurt someone he loves. Then you're dead.

-he SCREAMS whenever there's a bug. Strangely though, he likes ants, moths, and butterflies.

-mans is colorblind

-he doesn't like his squishy-ness and has tried to starve himself on numerous occasions :(

-I think that the fact that he's been owned by 3 different countries is grounds to give him abandonment issues right? Okay.

-if it weren't for his friends just simply existing, he would've been long gone by now. (same tho- I mean what?)

-I'm not gonna say he's hurt himself before, but I'm not gonna say he hasn't either 👁️👁️

-bro thinks that anybody he gets close to is gonna leave him :[

-if he gets hurt, he's not gonna bother telling anyone cuz he doesn't wanna feel like a failure for not being able to defend himself

Texas:

-this man is T A L L- he's 6'5 (not as tall as Alaska though so HA-)

-I imagine him to be very slim and fit, but he has a tiny bit of pudge around his lower stomach and hips and thighs.

-he LOVES animals so, so much. More than humans tbh.

-he has a horse (Ranger), 5 dogs (Rosco, Daisy, Cassy, Billie, and Maria. Rosco and Cassy are German Shepherds, Daisy and Billie are heelers, and Maria is a demonic chihuahua), 3 cats (Mittens, Sassy, and Milo), and 2 snakes (Spot and Harvey).

-^thats just at the statehouse. Back home, he has an animal sanctuary where he takes care of animals, takes them in, nurses them back to health, ect... It's very adorable and I love it.

-speaking of animals, he cannot, I repeat, CANNOT keep it together if an animal dies or gets hurt in a movie. Homeward Bound? Mans was not okay. Hachi? He wasn't ballin', he was bawling 😔.

-I BELIEVE IN TRANSMASC TEXAS SUPREMACY 🛐

-he still wears a binder cuz he doesn't trust the doctors to perform top surgery on him.

-ADHD for DAYS- don't give him an energy drink unless you want a 6'5 chihuahua on cocaine to be following you around.

-ADHD, autism, ocd, depression, anxiety, and ptsd. Idk if daddy issues counts, but he has those for sure.

-this bitch has fallen off of so many things that he no longer takes fall damage

-Mexico was such an asshole to poor Texas...... I wanna skin him alive :)

-Texas CANNOT handle someone raising their hand or voice at him. He can't. He will flinch and/or cry. Which he hates. Cuz he's supposed to have this reputation as the big strong Lone Star State.

-he has SH scars on his wrists, sides, and thighs. They vary from blade marks, to cigarette burns, to even scratches.

-he hates all of his scars so, so much and sees them as nothing but a sign of his weakness and inability to defend himself.

-Texas is also kinda insecure about the little bit of pudge on his lower belly, hips, and thighs. What makes it worse is that he can't really help it. Especially the stomach pudge cuz that's just where his uterus is. Does he know this? Yes. Is he still insecure? Yes.

-he often binds too long or forgets that he has his binder on until it's too late and there is severe bruising and even minor bleeding underneath the band. Along with breathing difficulties.

-^to make the breathing difficulties thing worse, he has asthma :)

——————

[metaphorical-love-for-a-car]

Sunshine After Rain-- Connor (RK800) x Reader (Part 1)

Summary; After the death of your little brother, Cole, your dad hated androids. He blamed them for Cole's death. Hank couldn't stand to be around them. How the hell are you supposed to tell him that your soulmate is an android?

Warnings; swearing

Word Count; 2.2k

Notes; Originally posted on AO3, this was the first ‘x-reader’ fic I had ever written. Since it’s finals/death season at my uni, I won’t be doing much original writing and figured that this would be a good time to re-upload this old thing to my current blog. It’s full of flaws, but it has a special place in my heart. ((will have minimal editing, so I mean it when I say full of flaws))

Soulmates aren't all the things the media makes them out to be. Some people have one, while others don't. Sometimes, people's soulmates can change. That's exactly what happened to your parents. Hank Anderson fell in love with a woman he met in during his first year at the Detroit Police Department. He just knew she was the one. Being the suave man that he is, Hank marched up to her, said some cheesy one-liner, and took her hand in his. The moment they made contact with each other, the world around them exploded into color. As soon as he let go, the world sank back into its grayish hues. Over time, whenever they touched, the world seemed less and less colorful. The colors finally faded away when your little brother, Cole, died.

There was a little theme park not far outside the city. Hank had taken the two of you for the evening because your mom drew the short straw for the graveyard shift at the station. As the sun began to set, the snow fell harder. Hank eventually tore the two of you away from the park and got everyone packed into the car. He muttered swears under his breath as the engine sputtered to life. “Can't see five feet in front of me with all this fucking snow,” Hank growled.

“Yeah, look at all of that shit in the road,” you commented. Hank snorted. A lopsided grin crossed his face.

“Don't let your mom hear you say that.”

“Why?”

“’Cause she'll kill me,” he said with a huff.

You and Cole played spotting games in the back seat to pass the time. He was only a few years younger than you, and the two of you usually got along fairly well. Cole was leaning forward to look out of the windshield in an attempt to find whatever blue object you were thinking of. He reached over to unbuckle in an attempt to move and see better. “Dad! Cole is trying to unbuckle!” you tattled. Hank peered up into the rearview mirror to see what was going on.

“Cole, sit down and buckle up. It's snowing too much for you to--” The car skid on a patch of ice. Time seemed to slow. The car spun as Hank struggled to control it. Without warning, the vehicle rammed itself into a nearby tree. The sudden impact caused you to hit your head on the car's interior. Your ears rang violently, and everything seemed out of focus. It didn't take long for the darkness to overtake your vision and consume you.

The first thing you noticed was the yelling of your parents. The second was the smothering smell of cleaning supplies. You started to open your eyes, but it felt like the lights were trying to blind you. A steady, hammering sensation radiated from the front of your head. You began to toss and turn in an attempt to get comfortable. Your parents noticed your movements and quieted. “I'll go tell the nurse that they're awake,” your mother sighed. There was no doubt that she just needed a moment to escape. Hank nodded, pulling a chair closer to the bed. He gently touched your shoulder.

“Hey, kiddo, how ya feelin'?” You turned your head to face him. It took a couple moments to process his words.

“Lights are...” You paused, taking a breath. “too bright.” Hank glanced up at the overhead lights as he stood from his seat. He switched them off before sitting next to the bed again. You slowly opened your eyes, squinting at him. “My head hurts.”

“Yeah, you hit your head pretty hard and got a bit of a concussion, but the doctor said you'll be fine.” You furrowed your brows, eyeing the few cuts across his own face. He shook his head with a scoff. “Don't worry about me. I just got a few little scratches. I'm fine.” You continued to survey your surroundings.

“Where's Cole?” Hank looked away. “Dad?”

“He was thrown from the car when we hit the tree. He's in surgery right now, but...” He sighed. “He's not in good condition. They've got one of those plastic bastards operating on him right now.” A heavy silence filled the room. Neither of you spoke for several minutes.

“That's why you and mom were fighting,” you whispered. Without you having to say anything else, he realized you had picked up on more than he would have liked. Your mom blamed him for what happened to Cole. After all, he was the one driving. Hank opened his mouth then closed it. He wanted to disagree and tell you that everything was okay, but he couldn't. You were right.

Cole didn't make it through the surgery. The android surgeons assured your parents that they did everything they could, but it was no use. Hank wrapped his arms around your mom as she wept. He'd be lying if he said he didn't weep alongside her. When he opened his eyes, the world had lost all its color. They knew the day was coming, but they never expected it to come at a time of such tragedy. They stayed together for a few more weeks, mainly for your sake. They wanted to tough it out at least until you got a little older, but things at home just got worse. They fought more often, which usually turned ugly. They would scream at each other until they lost their voices. Your mom would throw things at Hank, who would then turn and climb into a beer bottle and shut out the world around himself. Then, one day, she just left without a trace. She mailed in her letter of resignation to the DPD, and that was the last bit of contact anyone had from her. You and Hank never heard from her, but then again, you two never really tried to track her down either.

There's no doubt that life was rough after that. You and Hank had an unmeasurable amount of grief weighing down your hearts, but you two tried to tough it out. You had to be strong. You had to be strong for each other.

You always had a fascination with your dad's job as a detective. Every time you walked into the DPD, your eyes would fill with wonder. It didn’t take you long to decide you wanted to follow in his footsteps. As soon as you were able, you joined the department's K9 unit. You loved the dogs and spent most of your time training them. You were quickly able to get even the most stubborn dogs to listen to your commands, which earned the respect of a few of your peers. Several of them, however, still made you the butt of all jokes since you were one of the youngest in the department. The worst one was Gavin Reed. He loved to get under Hank's skin, which often led him to you. Unfortunately, that often left him with a bloody nose and you with bruised knuckles.

You sat at your desk, staring at the mountain of paperwork littering your desk. You groaned, running a hand through your hair. The german shepherd laying next to your feet lifted its head. A grin twitched at the corner of your lips as you reached down to pet it. A steady stream of officers trickled in to start the day. You noticed an android make its way over to Hank's desk. It poked around his desk, analyzing everything. Curiosity getting the better of you, you pushed yourself away from your paperwork and approached the android. You always found the bots intriguing. You thought it was interesting that they made them colorblind to be 'more relatable to humans.' 

"Hey, you must be the android CyberLife sent to help investigate the deviant cases," you chirped before introducing yourself. The android looked at you and tilted its head slightly.

"Yes, I'm Connor. I have been assigned to help Lieutenant Anderson with the investigations." You couldn't help but laugh, which seemed to confuse the poor android. "I do not understand what is humorous."

"You're his partner? No wonder he's been so grumpy lately," you said with a grin. "He's not very fond of androids." Connor furrowed its brows with a nod. As you turned around, you spotted Hank walking into the bullpen. "Speaking of the son of a bitch, there he is." Hank rubbed his face.

"Give your old man a break. It was a rough night." He stopped in his tracks. Hank's face paled as his eyes widened. "God.. I saw you get shot in the head last night." You turned to face Connor. The android seemed unfazed.

"My predecessor was unfortunately destroyed. CyberLife transferred its memory and sent me to replace it. This incident should not affect the investigation." Hank looked disgusted, while you grinned.

"Interesting, so every time you get destroyed CyberLife produces another android that looks and sounds exactly like you as a replacement?" Connor nodded. You crossed your arms with a hum. "How many models have there been before you?" His LED indicator flashed a different color. He opened his mouth, but someone interrupted him.

"Hank! In my office!" Fowler boomed. You shot Hank a look.

"Well, he looked pissed."

"Yeah, wish me luck," Hank grumbled as he trudged into Fowler's office. You glanced back at Connor.

"I'm gonna get some coffee if you want to tag along. I know androids don't eat or whatever, but you might just want to explore the place a little bit," you said with a shrug. A small grin tugged at the corner of its lips.

"I believe it would be beneficial for me to be aware of my surroundings." You smiled and looked at your desk. You whistled, and the dog sat up in attention. You pointed to the floor beside your foot. The dog bounced up from its perch and quickly scurried up to you. As you continued to walk towards the break room, the dog paused to stare at Connor before following you once more.

Gavin sat at one of the small tables, talking to another officer. You nodded at the two in greeting. Gavin stared at you, while the other officer gave you a small wave. They continued their conversation, leaving you to fix your coffee in peace. Gavin stopped talking for a few seconds before going on about ghosts. You turn away from the coffee machine to see Connor standing in the middle of the small room. The android looked at you, and you just rolled your eyes with a shrug. "Hello, Detective Reed," Connor greeted. Gavin approached the android, asking what model it is. You decided to answer the question instead.

"It's clearly written on the front of the jacket, dipshit."

"Fuck you."

"Only if you ask nicely," you said with a wink. Gavin scoffed, returning his attention to the android. He ordered Connor to make him a coffee. No one said a word. They all watched Connor to see what it would do.

"I'm sorry, but I only take orders form Lieutenant Anderson."

"Oh!" Gavin looked around, feigning an apologetic look. Without warning, he punched Connor in the stomach. The android doubled over. Gavin kneeled down beside it, threatening it. You set your coffee down on the counter. Storming over to the two, you shoved Gavin away from Connor.

"Alright, Gavin, that's enough."

"Oh, come on, (y/n)! Don't tell me you're actually humanizing this thing. It's just a tin can!" Gavin raised his voice, pointing at the android.

"If it's just a tin can, then why do you feel the need to assert your masculine dominance over it?" You quipped. The other officer sniggered. "Why don't you go find a middle schooler to steal lunch money from?" Gavin glared at you. He looked over at the android and shoved its head downward. Your dog broke its silence and growled.

"Get control of your dog, (y/n)." With that, Gavin sauntered out of the break room, the other officer trailing behind.

You sighed, sticking your hand out towards Connor. "He's such a dick." Connor looked up at you and blinked. Androids didn't need help getting up, but you were offering assistance as a sign of camaraderie. Connor took your hand, and you helped him to his feet. Right after he stood, your breath got caught in your throat. His jacket was the first thing you noticed, then his eyes. There were bright colors all around you. Connor furrowed his brows. His LED briefly flash red before settling on a steady strum between blue and yellow. He stared at your eyes, then your hair. His eyes roamed over your face, taking in every feature.

You quickly snatched your hand away from his. The color slowly drained from your field of vision. Your eyes were wide and frantic. It felt like someone replaced your heart with a drum. You rushed out of the break room, calling for your dog to follow. Connor watched you retreat. A message clouded his vision.

SOFTWARE INSTABILITY.

~*~*~

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[msrheyrhey]

Copying this here because its behind a ducking paywall!

This article found here talks about how Asian-Americans adopted into white families can’t take off their advocacy hat, even when they are at home because their families are often still “colorblind“ to their own POC struggles. Now I want this to stay as a topic for Asain struggles, but as BIPOC adopted into a white family myself, I super relate to this to this day. 

“For the last year, and especially since the devastating Atlanta-area murders on March 16, many of my Asian American friends have been sharing deeply personal, painful stories of talking with their parents and elders, pleading with them to take care, being exhorted to be careful in turn. As an adoptee, I don’t really have Asian elders in my family—or many elders at all, since the deaths of my father, grandmother and mother. Yet I’ve found myself wondering: If my adoptive parents were alive, witnessing the spike in anti-Asian racism and violence in the U.S. and around the world—with Asian women the most common targets—would they be concerned about me? Would they understand why I cried when I told my own Korean American daughters about the spa shootings? Would I have reached out to them during this past hard, heavy week, or held back, uncertain of how to share my fear and rage as the only Asian in my white family?

My parents loved and would have done anything within their power for me. But one thing they struggled to do, at least fully and consistently, was to see and understand me as a Korean American woman. Acknowledging it flew in the face of everything “experts” had told them when they adopted me in the early 1980s—the adoption agency, the social worker, the judge had all maintained that it wouldn’t, shouldn’t matter. So we never talked explicitly about race when I was younger, even though I was usually the only Asian kid in every room; the closest they came were statements such as “we would have adopted you if you were Black, white or polka-dotted” and “we’re all the same on the inside.” Even after I grew up, I cannot recall having a single conversation with them about anti-Asian racism specifically. Not the “model minority” myth. Not perpetual-foreigner syndrome. Not the exotification and fetishization of Asian women. Not the history of American imperialism that is partially responsible for my birth family’s and my presence in this country.

One of the manifestations of white privilege is not having to think about it.

Often, people who’ve read my memoir will note my white family’s “colorblind” approach and ask whether this led to me thinking of myself as white. My answer is always swift, unequivocal: No, I never thought I was white. I don’t think my adoptive parents thought of me as white either, nor do I believe they imagined their whiteness would extend to me through proxy or proximity, because they didn’t think much about their whiteness at all—one of the manifestations of white privilege is not having to think about it. But they did assume that I’d be protected from racism because the world would see me as they did—their child, no more, no less—and as my race was irrelevant to them, they could not imagine anyone else caring about it either.

I’ve lost track of how many times my relatives told me, “I just don’t think of you as Korean.” But from early childhood, I understood that other people certainly did: white adults called me an “Asian princess” or asked where I was from; white boys at school chanted racist songs at me; a white girl singled me out at recess and demanded to know whether my “Asian vagina” was different from hers. While my adoptive family saw me as almost raceless and therefore safe from racists, I lived every day from the age of 7, when I heard my first slur from a classmate, understanding that my Korean face made me hypervisible where we lived—and that it could also make me a target.

The truth is that it is entirely possible to love and care for one Asian American—"your" Asian American—and not see other Asians as equally, fully human.

Since the start of the pandemic and the racist scapegoating that has persisted throughout, I’ve often thought of the many thousands of Asian American kids currently growing up in white families and white spaces. Our experiences are of course not interchangeable, but I know it can feel like a unique burden when you witness or experience racism in a kind of isolation, unable to retreat and process your rage or sorrow with people who also know what it’s like to live in an Asian body. When the constant labor of pointing out or educating others about the racism you face doesn’t necessarily stop at home. When, even within your own family, you might hear people stereotype or mock Asians, use Asian slurs. I wasn’t surprised to learn that Cherokee County Sheriff’s Office Capt. Jay Baker, who stated that the Atlanta shooter was having “a really bad day” and was found to have promoted racist T-shirts that read “COVID 19 IMPORTED VIRUS FROM CHY-NA” on his Facebook profile, has an adopted Vietnamese brother. The truth is that it is entirely possible to love and care for one Asian American—“your” Asian American—and not see other Asians as equally, fully human.

Before and after the 2016 election, I tried to explain to my parents how it felt to live and raise Korean American children, their grandchildren, in a country where so many racists seemed emboldened by Donald Trump’s lies and attacks. I remember pleading with them more than once: “I need you to hear me and believe that this racism is real, and that we experience it.” I cannot say we found precisely the common ground I wanted, but at times I felt we were moving closer to it. Over the years, I’ve talked with so many other transracial adoptees who, like me, have undertaken the task of asking, sometimes begging our adoptive relatives to acknowledge our experiences; to stand with us; to challenge the racism endemic in our society as well as our own families and communities. Now, in this moment, I hope that every white parent of an Asian child is paying attention to the rise in anti-Asian hate. I hope that white people with Asian family members recognize and internalize the fact that no amount of love, good intentions, assimilation or proximity to whiteness will protect their loved ones from racism. I hope that every parent is thinking about how they will talk about anti-Asian prejudice with their children.

It’s impossible to know what my own parents might have said about this wave of hatred and violence, part of a long history of anti-Asian racism. By the time the former president began calling COVID-19 “the Chinese virus,” by the time racists began shouting and tweeting (and spray-painting) the term “Kung Flu,” my father was gone and my mother’s cancer had spread, and the difficult conversations left to us were about our grief and how much we loved and missed one another. Like most everyone who has lost one parent, let alone two, I’ve had to accept that there are questions I’ll never get answers to, things we’ll never be able to settle. That my parents didn’t entirely understand or accept my racial reality will always be with me, part of my adoption story—but it’s not the most important through line of our story as a family, nor does it typically ascend to the forefront of my memories of them. They were, perhaps, vindicated in this: our love for each other was what mattered most, in the end.

Because of that love, which I’ve never doubted, my best guess is that they would have tried to follow when I drew a connection between the cresting anti-Asian hatred and the steady churn of dread and anger I’ve known over the last year. I think that the people who long tried to keep me safe would have asked me to be careful now; that the parents who never stopped worrying about me would have at least tried to understand my worry as the mother of Asian American children. At the same time, when I hear my mother’s voice in my head—as I still do, and have, nearly every day since she died in May—she is forever reminding me to trust myself, to know my value, to focus on what feels most important and life-giving and fulfilling. I know that the last thing either of my parents would have wanted was for me to despair, or live my life in fear. And so, for their sake and my own, I won’t.”

[smokeybrand]

Wakanda Forever

When i was young, i wanted to be white. We’re talking grade school age. It wasn’t that i hated myself or misunderstood my heritage or anything like that, it was strictly or monetary reasons. The schools i attended, from K through sixth, were wildly diverse. I spoke about that before. I’ve had the privilege of growing up in California so my perspective on race and class is very broad. Back then, it wasn’t. Back then, i saw these kids with Lunchables and Capri Suns. They had dope ass sneakers like BK Dymacels and LA Gear with the lights in the heel. Look, I'm very old, okay? Whenever there was a book fair, the white kids balled out of control and i went in with, like, ten to twenty dollars. I didn’t understand the advantages being white afforded to those people and the crushing sabotage being black had for us. White meant financial security to me back then. And then i got to Junior High School.

Year seven and eight were eye-openers for me. My seventh grad year, i attend the rich middle school. It was lousy with upper middle class white people and just as many, just as successful Asians. My struggle had gotten worse because my kid brothers were growing, my pops was a lump, and my ma got a pay cut at her terribly soul crushing gig, so i was hyper aware of all this brand new money, this brand new reality, all around me. It was f*cking intolerable. That, and because i came from the wrong zip code, they thought i was an idiot. That was fun. Seventh grade was a dead year academically for me. I slept through most of that sh*t. My time at the rich school was a microcosm of how the world would treat me as a black person and it was sobering as f*ck. I hated it then and i hate it now. I met some really dope cats there, though, people i still talk with to this day and its’ been, what? Twenty-five years? Shout out to all my Sam Brannan peeps! Y’all made that whole as Great Depression of my life, bearable. With the understanding of my reality in America staunchly affirmed, i switched schools for Eighth grade. I made my way back to the neighborhood middle school named after a racist ass German. That’s where i learned why everyone hates us as black people so much.

My time at Goethe as dope as f*ck. I excelled in all of my classes and had the most fun in school, ever, up to that point. It was like a return home but with more autonomy, more agency. I came into my own over that year and began to see, with clarity and pride, how f*cking dope it is to be black. How the entire goddamn world, follows our lead in literally everything. Music, fashion, art, sports; Black people set those trends. Our culture IS American culture and it was no more apparent than the demos of that school. Goethe has a significant more black kids going there, it was the ghetto middle school and all, but i noticed a lot of the sh*t i saw being traded with the rich white kids and well-to-do Asians at the Rich Middle School, were being rocked, here, among the black kids. We were the first ones with the Jordans. We were the first ones with the NBA Lives and the Maddens. Ours was the dominate energy and i thrived in it. I met some of my oldest friends there. I met my best friend there. I had my first love there, even if it was unrequited. Shout out to my Goethe peeps. Y’all helped shape the me i am today! I caught my swagger then and carried it into High School. Now that was an interesting time.

I went to John F. Kennedy, class of 02. It took a while for me to adjust, about a year, but i actualized as a Sophomore. At that point, i knew who i was. I understood my place. I loved me some me and no one could tell me otherwise. The demographic of my High School, resembled my Rich Middle School considerably. So many rich white folks and uppity Asians. However, i came over with A LOT of me Goethe peeps. A lot of cats i knew from around the neighborhood got bused in the same as me. That palpable energy from Eighth grade? yeah, that carried over to Ninth through Twelfth. The contrast was so f*cking potent. It couldn’t be more obvious. We were definitely the minority but literally everyone boarded our sh*t. It was insane. Iverson was reinventing the NBA Star. Jordan had released arguably his very best series of sneakers, both retro and new, those four years. Hip Hp and Rap culture had gone mainstream bling and these suburban ass Kyles were eating it up. Cash Money rose and gave us the classic Back That Azz Up; A record that is colorblind as f*ck. The second that beat drop every one shaking they big or non-existent ass on the floor. When i got to High School, being black was a billion dollar industry and i knew my misguided longing to be white, was wrong.

They all wanted to be black, but safely. They all wanted to be what already was. Everybody wanted to be a n*gga but no one wanted to be a n*gga. I’m dope as f*ck. My culture is dope as f*ck. You can’t tell me it ain’t. In my unbridled pride for my skin tone, i immediately understood the sobering flip side to that coin. That microcosm i spoke about. America loves blackness but hates black bodies. That lesson i learned as i grew older and entered adulthood, interacted with bosses at sh*t jobs, and filled out physically. I’m a huge black dude and, while I'm effectively an endangered species in the US because White men see me as a threat to be eliminated, i am hyper-fetishized by White women because they want to roll around in the jungle with my ape ass. It’s wild living this reality where you are hated for living but loved for creating. Like, a racist will totally hate-f*ck you, strictly because you are black, calling you “n*gger” the entire time, and then come back the the next night in a hood to burn a cross in your yard. That’s my life. That’s my reality. It’s f*cking silly.

I’m an old man now. I got life experience out the ass and this last four years has aged me up considerably. I think it’s aged everyone. Not the wypipo, though. They’re set in their ways. They’re set so much in their ways, the second it looked like sh*t might even out for everyone, they tried to overthrow the government. You don’t get too much more set than that, man. The sh*t that i know now, i wish i could go back and tell old me. Wee lil Smokey would probably have been much better off with this understanding early on. He wouldn’t have had to struggled with his identity and figure out why it was wrong to want to be white or why it was bad to be black. He wouldn’t have had to feel so self conscious about what he was had, the situation he had to live in, if he understood how fixed the game is for those who lack the melanin. I think the younger version of me would have taken comfort knowing that it was okay to love his skin and that it’s the most coveted resource, for better or worse, in the world.

I’m Black as f*ck and so goddamn proud of it.

[groundramon]

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

:O!!!

I’ll take this as asking for five facts about five characters bc im currently waiting for all/most of the items to unlock on my current zoo tycoon game and idk what to do to kill the time besides this sO:

Character 1: Skift (bc I dont talk about him enough)

1. Skift is a very ambitious person.  One of the main reasons he enlists in the army in Majjikku is in hopes of some day becoming a war hero.  He’s also easily influenced by other peoples’ approval or disapproval, despite how adamantly he would insist otherwise if you ask him.  Hence why he wants the validation of being a household name and a hero in the history books.

2. The other main reason he enlisted in the army is because he absolutely despises his family.  I’m still working on the kinks of his backstory but the jist of it is that he comes from an extremely large family with a neglectful mother and an absent father.  He and his other siblings around his age were raised by their elder siblings, but Skift had the misfortune of having a personality that completely clashed with theirs and often got in fights with them, that sometimes even turned physical.  As soon as he was old enough to enlist in the army, he left home and headed to the nearest enlisting center (which unfortunately was several days away since they lived in the middle of goddamn nowhere, but he makes at least)

3. Skift has no real education, living in the middle of nowhere and not having anyone to teach him skills.  When he was younger he got along with his siblings better and was able to learn basic math, and of course he can speak fine, but he probably can’t read very well and anything besides basic addition and subtraction is a mystery to him.  Having said that, illiteracy and a general lack of scholarly knowledge, isn’t uncommon on the Parity side, as they have the very minimal requirement of laws and government required to run a government.  (Literally you can kidnap someone and as long as you give them adequate shelter, food, and water, and you dont abuse them or anything, the “police” wont do anything about it)

4. Skift gets a strong rush while in the middle of combat.  Adrenaline does good things to his psyche and as long as he doesn’t suddenly realize that those were real people dying on the battlefield, he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the day after a Parity victory.  He’s not bloodthirsty, but he does get uncomfortably into it when in the heat of battle, even if he has to watch the person he’s killing die in front of him.

5. Skift in a way is supposed to be a sort of clueless libertarian/anti-ally who isnt a bigot.  Like, think a white person who doesnt believe in systemic racism but wouldn’t discriminate against a person of color because the whole reason they dont believe in systemic racism is because its bad for the economy.  (Which, it is, they’re right about that lmao).  I dont know entirely what I’m planning to do with that concept because I dont know if I, as a very dumb white person, have the ability to play with racism/the concept of colorblindness like that, but I hope I can do SOMETHING with them.  Either I’ll need to educate myself or I’ll just change that trait to being dumb about politics in general, I dunno.  (Because he doesnt really care about the politics of Parity vs Halcyon, he just agrees with the Parity because thats all hes ever known.)

Bonus fact bc I had too many: Skift is pretty heavily inspired by the design of an old warrior cats OC I had named Falconstar/Falcon.  He’s not exactly a dead character (I dont do anything with Warrior Cats anymore but if I did, he’d be on my list of potential characters to reboot, altho i dont know if id have the heart to take him out of the universe/AU he’s from…) but I feel like their personalities are different enough that they wont be mistaken for one another.  Also Skift has a stupid scarf.

Character 2: Phillip (or is it Lenny? Idk I think I changed it to Phillip)

1. Phillip is also from Majjikku, I should mention, but he’s a part of the Halcyon side.  The first thing I should mention is that he’s a prince, and 3rd in line to the Crayking throne - he has an elder brother who joins the army with him, and an elder sister who stays behind to keep the kingdom safe with their aging parents.  I believe they also have a younger sibling or two, but they’re too young to be politically important.  Anyways, its worth mentioning that the only reason Phillip was sent over her sister is because he’s an inadept spoiled brat, and the Halcyon side was asking for at least two members of royalty to join their ranks to form an alliance, so Phillip was sent alongside their actually combatually adept elder son.  The Halcyon sent Phillip to the “less useful” soldier training camps, while his brother was able to ascend straight up in the ranks of the army.  Since arriving in Halcyon territory, Phillip hasn’t seen his brother once.  (It’s worth mentioning as a side note, the Craykings only allied themselves with the Halcyon side to protect their own necks.  They believe the Halcyons have the upper hand in the war, and want to be on the right side of history when the war concludes.  And they dont have the strength to stand up to both sides; the Halcyons have promised to protect their underwater empire from the Parities due to their allyship.

2. As I mentioned, Phillip is an inadept spoiled brat.  Years of coddling in his palace have turned him into a demanding asshole who makes jokes at the expense of others and has overly high expectations from others, despite thinking he himself deserves to sit on his ass all day.  There’s a deep reason for it, as there is for all my characters, but there are so many layers that caused him to act like this that at this point it’s just become his personality.

3. Having said that, Phillip grew up in an environment where acting nice was more important than being nice.  Who cared what you did behind closed doors, so long as you put on a presentable front?  He’s extremely charming and sociable in big social events, often making on-point jokes and contributing in a seemingly meaningful way.  In fact, he’s arguably even better at it than his two older siblings, since they have opinions of their own and aren’t just a mindless robot for their parents to interject their thoughts and opinions to.  Phillip is very good at regurgitating what he’s been told, and has a very flawed and honestly nonexistent sense of self because he has never had the freedom to make his own opinions.  Or rather, he was told how to act and feel, and he never had the strength that his siblings had to make his own opinions on what was being taught to him.

4. Phillip wears a fancy bowtie and he refuses to take it off for unexplained reasons.  There’s no deep reason to it, I just like bowties.

5. Phillip believes that both of his elder siblings are more adept and intelligent in every aspect.  He respects his parents authority over the kingdom and part of why he acts like a jerk is because he legitimately has no idea what he’s doing and would rather die than inherit the throne.  He knows nothing about politics, despite his entire life being politics (in more ways than one).  The good news is that it seems like if something happened to both his elder siblings and his parents, it would probably go to the next sibling below him, even if they were still under 10 at the time.

Character 3: Glitch

1. Glitch REALLY needs a new name but I’m currently trying to come up with an idea of how Glitch could mean something different in their world (Majjikku, I should clarify), but right now im empty-handed and please help me.

2. Glitch is blind, or at least has significant sight problems.  I think.  I dont know, I really need to develop Glitch more.  Maybe he just needs glasses like I do and without them everything is hella blurry but at least he can get around.

3. Glitch’s species is often used as horses in the Halcyon army due to their obedient nature and high intelligence for a species that generally isnt considered “sentient”/having human intelligence (I know sentient isnt the right word, hence why I clarified).  Glitch’s species does have human-like intelligence and capabilities, having the capability for empathy and compassion and self-realization just as much if not more as other Majjikku species, but they generally lack in vocal and academic intelligence.  Glitch is unusually vocal for his species, a mutation that comes up in packs of the sauropod-like species every now and then.  Because of this and his sight problems, he was put in the same “lesser” squadron as Phillip, instead of the same training the other young from his herd were given.

4. Having said that, “unusually vocal” for his species is still very quiet most of the time.  He has a strong understanding of the words of those around him, stronger than most of the rest of his species (although they can comprehend language, just not as quickly) and can articulate full sentences in a reasonable amount of time, he just prefers not to.  He also can’t go on half-an-hour-long rants about things because he would run out of words and brainpower very quickly, which god I wish that were me because I will talk until my mouth falls off and its 3 am i s2g im not even exaggerating.

5. Glitch has no understanding of the war but as his herd is encouraged to help the war effort, as opposed to being forcibly taken (which was outlawed and deemed unethical when more and more offspring like Glitch started popping up), he supports his side and would gladly die for it.  Also he loves his friends, even Phillip.

Character 4: Aquarius

1. I love Aquarius!!!  Somehow she became my favorite Majjikku character and idk why.  She’s got cool pants, thats probably part of the reason.  Anyways Aquarius is Marble’s best friend in the series; they become fast friends on the train to their squadron when they begin talking about their similar experiences in being dragged away from their families and forcibly enlisted in the army.  (Is it horrible to enlist 13 and 14 year old kids in the army by force?  It absolutely is, that’s the point; I dont take my characters being young teens like most stories abt young teens do, I’m well aware they’re going to be fucked up as fuck and I’m exploiting that for all its worth.)  Aquarius came from a big family of 5 with an absent mother and a nonexistent father, where her elder sister raised herself and then raised her.  Unlike Skift, Aquarius became very close with her eldest sister, although they both share a resentment for their parents because of their shit awful parenting.  Aquarius was forced to join the army because her three younger siblings were too young for the army, and her eldest sister had to stay behind and work a job and care for the younger kids, something Aquarius knew she wouldn’t be able to do.

2. Unlike all the other characters I’ve mentioned so far, and hell probably all the characters in Majjikku in general lol, Aquarius actually supports the Halcyon for what they stand for.  Obviously with her absent mother and father, Aquarius and her siblings needed a lot of financial help.  Thankfully that’s what the Halcyon system was built around, and the government was able to get Aquarius’s eldest sister a stable well-paying job and the entire family enough money to get a decent place and pay for food for a while.  The government still monitors their family regularly to make sure they arent squandering the money and that everything is going okay, but they did far, far more good than harm.  Aquarius believes that this is the best form of government; a form of government that on a very personal level cares for its members and helps them through hardships, and forces them on the right path.  In our world, she’d be a socialist through and through, if not a straight-up communist.  (Having said that, I do believe Aquarius would have different political opinions if she grew up in our world.  The difference between our world governments and the Halcyon government is that the Halcyon government…actually gives a shit about people.  Most of the people who work for the government are volunteers, who at best get a small place to stay and some food.  Like, the Halcyon actually help 99% of the poor population in the Halcyon city.  The amount of financial aid given outside of the city significantly drops, but in their city, being homeless and poor is illegal but instead of throwing you in jail for it they’ll help you get out of it.  If you squander it then you’ll end up in jail, but still.  Idk what Aquarius would believe in differently if she grew up here, but I dont think she’d be a straight-up communist because we have too many failed communist governments in our history.)

3. Aquarius and her family’s coloring is very odd for her species.  The bear-like species that her family is made up of is generally brown, red, yellow, orange, tan, white, gray, black, ect - normal-ish fur colors.  Blue, at least to the extent that Aquarius and her family have is nonexistent.  It is likely that she and her family have a small percentage of an aquatic species’ DNA, such as a crayking, in them.

4. Aquarius loves being supportive of other people and listening to and relating to their struggles.  She’s actually a pretty good motivational speaker and is a pretty great friend.  She’s great and I love her.  Also the pants.

5. Aquarius clashes a lot with Shade, another character in her squadron.  I’m not giving Shade his own section but the reason is that he’s an overly negative character, constantly throwing shade at the Halcyon side and complaining about training.  However, once she realizes the reasons for his dissatisfaction with his current situation, she stops calling him out when he says stuff against the Halcyon side.  She does start to debate her own opinions a bit after that, and has a lot of long conversations with Marble about it in their shared bedroom.  (If anyone’s interested in Shade feel free to send me another star asking about him, or reply to this post or w/e! otherwise ill just keep it a secret lol)

Character 5: Grace

1. Thank god, a character that isn’t Majjikku-related lol.  Anyways Grace is the embodiment of a rebellious teenager.  She doesn’t listen to any authority, goes out of her way to do bad things, and will purposely disobey what you say even if she doesnt want to do the thing she’d have to do by disobeying you.  The whole reason she gets involved in Spirits’ plot is because she knows taking money from a stranger to play with the laws of science and reality would be firmly in her dad’s list of things she can’t do.

2. Speaking of her dad, he’s a little bit of a dick.  He’s the reason she’s so disrespectful towards authority.  He’s basically just a stereotypical religious nut; anti-gay, anti-transgender, anti-atheist, anti-anyone who isnt christian, anti-drugs, and he even enforces some form of gender roles.  And he’s very vocal about these things.  He tries to be a huge helicopter parent, but Grace can and will avoid him, ignore his punishments, and stay out so late that her parents cant yell at her for disobeying them.  Her father is very vocal about his displeasure and downright hatred of Grace sometimes, and ever since she started questioning his words when she was a young girl, he’d yell at her for it.  Her older brother isn’t too great either, but he’s more of an annoying slouch who plays video games all day instead of working than a legitimately bad guy.

3. Grace believes she’s straight because she has no interest in being sexual with a woman, but she’d be totally down with kissing and cuddling and being romantic with a woman, hence why I identify her as a biromantic heterosexual.  She’s also the most sexually active of all my characters, which no I will not elaborate on that, not because I dont feel comfortable with it but because I dont know how the fuck that works.  (Also side note, I headcanon things in my own stories so I like to headcanon that at some point Grace and Shawn get together and they can be all romantic and mushy n stuff together but Shawn’s totally okay with Grace going out for one night stands with guys so long as she stays safe.  Obviously they talk everything out to make sure everyone is safe and okay with the relationship, but Shawn’s pretty okay with it; she’s pretty used to Grace having sex with no romantic attraction involved, and ofc Shawn isn’t into sex so she doesn’t feel like it’s a problem.)

4. Grace is closer with her mother than her father, but although her mother is very much a mediator and acts very kind and forgiving to Grace, Grace still kind of despises her.  Just because Grace’s dad is a dick doesn’t mean she isn’t too.

5. Grace’s spirit form is a bloodthirsty wyvern with major anger problems.  Each of the kids’ spirit forms have a slight personality outside of the kids themselves, and Grace’s is bloodthirsty and destructive - not intelligently so, but still.  Most fo the kids’ spirit forms are pretty mindless and just mindlessly destructive, except two.